Talking With Children About Frightening News
When something upsetting happens at a school or in the news, children hear about it quickly. A calm, honest chat helps them feel safe again.
Children often hear about a frightening event from friends, group chats or a screen in the background before a parent says a word. You can't keep every piece of news away from them, but you can make sure they hear it from someone they trust.
Start by listening
Put your phone away and ask what they've heard and what they're wondering about before you explain anything. Children often have a muddled version of events, and their worries may be different from yours. It's fine to say "I don't know" or "I'm trying to understand this too."
Match your answer to their age
Younger children need a short, simple explanation and lots of reassurance. Primary-age children may want to know where it happened and whether it could happen at their school. Teenagers often want to talk about causes and what is being done, and they usually respond better when you ask what they think rather than giving a lecture.
Reassure, without promising the impossible
Explain that serious incidents at schools are rare, and that teachers and the emergency services have plans and practise them. Avoid promising that nothing bad could ever happen; say instead that lots of adults are working to keep them safe.
Limit the news
Repeated footage and 24-hour coverage can make worry worse, especially for younger children. Keep TV and radio news off when they're around. If an older child wants to follow the story, watch or read it together from a reliable source so you can pause and talk.
Keep the routine, and watch for signs they need more help
Normal bedtimes, meals and activities are reassuring because they're predictable. Some changes are normal for a short while: trouble sleeping, tummy aches, clinginess or not wanting to go to school. If they last more than a few weeks or affect daily life, speak to your GP or your child's school. Children and young people can talk to Childline free on 0800 1111, and adults worried about a child can call the NSPCC Helpline on 0808 800 5000.
Sources
- Talking about distressing current events with kids (Save the Children UK)
- Contact details for Childline and the NSPCC Helpline (NSPCC)
This post is general information. Your school's own plan comes first, so ask the school office for its procedures.